A couple days ago I asked J if he would mind being a little more controlling. When he controls situations and random things I feel so loved and safe. He has always said that he doesn't want to have to micro manage me, and I agree that would be a pain. J was very pleased that I asked him to be even more controlling. I said what about the micro manage thing? His reply was if I do what is asked of me then he still won't have to micro manage me. He said eventually I will know what's expected of me and just naturally do things before he has to even bring them up. He is very confident that's where our marriage is heading.
I was laying in bed the other day talking all this over with J and we were holding hands and facing each other. I asked him if any of this makes him uncomfortable in any way and he said no, not at all, this is more me than you think. He went on to say that there were times going several years back in our marriage that he wanted to step up and say something and control things but he didn't because he didn't want to upset me, all he ever wanted was to see me happy. I smiled because I really like the fact that he has a natural dominant side to him. I'm sure that's why he's done well with his role as HOH and was so successful at helping me step back and become more submissive. He has come across some things that he needed to take more control over so I'm busy following his lead and doing very well with all the changes. Thanks for reading my update :-) Jess
Well, Jess. Glad to see the update. Oh, I can see J as very HOHy. In a very humble, caring sort of way. I think you guys are well on your way to a road of a very peaceful, happy marriage. Keep sharing!
ReplyDeletekady
Hi Jess - Thanks for the update! It's wonderful that H has a naturally dominant side. It's also great to hear that you're comfortable enough to communicate your desire for him to take more control. What a wonderful thing. Keep up the great work, and definitely keep us updated! :)
ReplyDelete-RW
Jess,
ReplyDeleteTaking control is a man's natural inclination. So many of them shy away from it because they've been told all their life that marriage must be a 50/50 proposition. Of course we were told the same thing, and now, faced with the change of a disciplined lifestyle, everyone's confused to the gills. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment, but you sound as though you'll both be very comfortable with the new dynamic. I hope you'll enjoy it.
SugarAnne