Wanting It...Then Not!

Of course I know that spanking will always be a part of our marriage from this point on, so that's not an issue.  But my most recent request for him to have more control...that has become an issue for me.  I've mentioned it to him a couple times that it makes me feel child like and I don't like that.  I understand that J is getting somewhat irritated with me wanting to do something then wanting it to go back to the way it was.  He said absolutely not, I wanted him to take on having more control and that's exactly what he plans to do.  J's tone is not angry or ugly during these talks, he just has a matter of fact attitude.  He has in mind how he wants things to be and they are very similar to my idea of how things should one day be for us, but somehow I feel like we've entered a level that feels unnatural to me.  I just don't understand why he's not feeling like this extra control feels unnatural to him too.  I've been doing well with my role as a submissive wife and haven't earned any spankings for a few weeks.  I will continue to talk with him about this and I know he has always wanted me to be happy so eventually he'll see my concerns...but for now, I'm not going to hound him about this issue.  Who knows, maybe over time things will slow down again and feel natural once again.  I certainly love this journey we are on and I'm ever so greatful that he agreed to this lifestyle.  Jess